True colours

What does your car colour say about you?

We’re thinking of buying another car and the particular one that one that I desire is silver.

Silver cars, I am told by those who claim to have knowledge of such things, are bought by people who are practical, business savvy and have good taste.

I’m the most impractical person I know and have absolutely no idea about business. I am, however, happy to go along with good taste.

The last car I owned was an old green Mercedes. People with green cars are said to be frugal and have a consistent routine. The arrival of my credit card bills has been known to send my wife into catatonic shock and the only routine I have is to be in a permanent state of disorder and confusion.

The one before that was another old Merc which was blue. This means I enjoy the company of others. I was recently accused me of being anti-social. I replied that this was not true. It was just that I didn’t like people.

The car before that was a gold Fairlane with a black vinyl roof. The owners of gold cars are supposed to be joyous and energetic. I am regularly accused of being impatient and short tempered and fall asleep in the big chair in the lounge at two o’clock in the afternoon. Yawn!

Then there was the red Peugeot. People who own red cars want to be active all the time. Where’s that pillow? Yawn!

Then there was the white MG. White car people are said to be innocent and transparent. I may have been innocent at birth but it’s been all downhill since then.

Then there was my first car, a grey Humber Hawk. The owners of grey cars are dignified, composed and not easily disturbed. Not all of them. Some of us are short tempered and impatient.

I’m going to go with silver in the hope that I might become practical, but I’ve a feeling it may be too late.